I've been thinking a lot lately about how exhausted I am and how I get no free time anymore, how every instant of my life is dedicated to someone else.
But, this is what I have always wanted. What I prayed for. This is a season and it will pass very soon. They will grow up and I will wish they were small again.
Being a parent is so hard but my kids can make me happy like no one else can. Lily melts me because she is always smiling and she is the biggest little cuddler, she reaches out for me and laughs and I just swell up with love and thankfulness to the Lord for my babies. Claire is so precious, she thinks that Mama can fix ANYTHING! (please don't tell her, I dread the day when she discovers that I can't).
I am trying so hard to get it right, to instill faith and love in my children. To teach them to be sober and self controlled but at the same time, to open their hearts to others. To be compassionate, giving and full of grace. To be more like Christ than I've ever been.
And that is the most difficult part of parenting. Taking care of their daily needs is nothing compared to raising godly children who love others as passionately as they love the Lord. And raising them to be passionate about the Lord and others in the first place when we fail at that ourselves so many times.
So, thank you to my babies for showing me grace. For loving me even when I'm not the nicest, calmest, sweetest Mommy. For forgiving me when I can't forgive myself. For not having the impossible expectations of me that I have for myself. For believing that your Mommy is the best Mommy. For wanting me when you are sick or scared. For crying to me when someone hurts your feelings, for letting me kiss your hurts and for most of all, Claire, for saying, 'Mumma, weez pay "(Mama, we pray)when I lose it after a long stressful day. Claire and Lily, you are Mama's heart. I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always, as long as I'm living my babies you'll be."