I had a rough night with Lily and Charlie getting up at 3:30 am does not help that any! It's 5:30 am and I just got Lily back to sleep! I do not need to go in there and lay down with her because I will probably wake her up and Claire will be up in a few minutes, anyway! I am SO tired!!!
So, I decided to write this post about my husband since this is the week of our 10 year day we met anniversary! I love you baby!
I had been through a lot of pain with my ex boyfriend, who was a lot older than me. Things happened in that relationship that shouldn't have and as a result I was really screwed up. Some of you reading this will think you know what and who I'm talking about but you don't. The only one reading this that will know is Charlie, my mom and my sisters. It is something that I have tried to keep private in my life. So, I had been feeling so bad about myself for quite a while. I tried to bolster my self esteem by dating. I always had a boyfriend. Always. That is not something that I am proud of. I did not know how to be by myself because I did not like myself and I did not feel that I had any self worth. I still struggle with this, not daily like I used to, but it comes into my head fairly often. I KNOW that God loves me and that I am the daughter of the King but back then I didn't.
I had been praying to God, promising God that I would wait on Him, that I would take time off from dating and concentrate on being a better person, and reading my bible and praying more. I asked God to not let me date until he brought the right person to me and I specifically asked for someone who was down to earth and a Christian and who would love me more than his life. Someone who would make me his second priority (after God). I wanted someone who wasn't playing around, who wanted me for life!
I went to singing at our church building that Sunday night after a few months (2 or 3) of waiting on the Lord and not expecting him to move so quickly! I had been talking to a guy at school (college) but that was all. I did not feel comfortable going on a date with him and I was trusting the Lord's direction for probably the first time in my life! Anyways, I went to the singing with my family in their vehicle. A man was there with his wife and daughter that I have known my entire life. My parents knew these people for life and my Mama's parents knew their parents and even farther back! The man and his family were there with their nephew. I walked in, saw him and everything just completely changed for ever! Yes, I do believe that people are meant to be, that God has a special person just for you. That night I walked in, stopped in my tracks, looked into the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen (my babies have his eyes) and I felt so calm. Jittery but calm if that makes any sense. I had a peace that I can not explain to this day, it was the Lord!
We still laugh about that night and how I said, "HI!!" in the most excited way and he says that I had him from that moment! He says I have the most beautiful eyes that he's ever seen, too! What's funny, though, is that we didn't talk that night because he ran off! He was nervous about talking to me, you just have to know Charlie, he is SO quite at first and then watch out, you can't shut him up! lol.
The next week he had to work (baling hay) and so he didn't come to singing. I thought that he didn't like me! But the next Sunday night, he did come and we talked on the front porch for A LONG time until my parents said that we had to go home. I knew that he liked me but I didn't expect him to call me 3 days later and talk to me on the phone for 3 & 1/2 hours. I had to go to work the next morning or we would have talked all night! (I didn't give him my # by the way, he looked it up in the phone book) He said that he had never done that before! SO, we had our first date two days after that and we went out every night that weekend! We were a couple after the first date, by the second date we knew that we wanted to get married some day! A LOT of people thought that this was WAY to fast but I couldn't explain it then and I can't now other than to say that we just knew it was right!
Remember when I said that I wanted a down to earth guy? Well, my husband's family raised chickens (poultry farmers, chicken houses, Pilgrim's Pride) and hogs! My husband sold hogs to buy my engagement ring one month after we started dating! Now that is down to earth as you can get! Pure country, folks!
The greatest feeling ever is when Charlie holds me. He has held me through so many things and he is the best gift that the Lord has ever given me other than salvation. And our girls, well, there are no words to explain what they mean to us. And for people that thought that we got married to soon, that we didn't know what we were doing, GOD knew! After 7 years of infertility, of losing baby after baby, job losses and money problems, family struggles and sadness, we are STILL here 10 years later and we are STILL going strong! This man is my world, he is my BEST friend. He has held me and pushed me through so many hard times and we have had so many laughs. Last night, we went to bed kinda late because we were studying Philippians. He is helping me with that, too!
We are not perfect. We argue, we have screamed at each other, I have thrown things at him, he has slammed things around! But we have gotten better at that and we always work it out. We always will because we truly do believe that God did not put us together so that we could tear each other apart!
Oh, how I love that man! He is the hardest worker I know and the best Daddy I have ever seen! He held Claire last night in the floor in her room and told her stories about tractors. (Daddy's favorite thing and her's too!) They talked about their farm and their farm animals. Lily always sits in Daddy's lap while he's eating supper even though I have offered to take her! She sits there and smiles at him the whole time! He gives the girls their baths every night and says prayers with them every night, too! We all pray together as a family before the girls go to bed. I remember going to my Grandpa Treat's and spending the night and him and Mamaw Susie would get on the floor and pray with us before bed. So, we try to do that with the girls.
I love my husband so much and I just wanted to tell him that today! It's the week of our anniversary, and he is needing some encouragement right now. I am often times to selfish to stop and appreciate him out loud even though I do think these things about him, I need to tell him more often!
Thank you baby, for a wonderful 10 years together! You mean so much to me and our beautiful little girls! (Secretly, between you and me, I want another one!) I appreciate all that you do for us and the stress you endure so that we can have money to pay our bills and have things. Thank you for being so selfless when it comes to us. You are amazing and words fail me at describing just how wonderful you truly are!
I LOVE YOU, FARLEY CHOGG!!!!!! (inside joke!)