Well, Lily is here! She weighed 6 lbs.15 oz. and was almost 19 inches long. The exact same as her sister although I think Lil-bear is much tinier than Care-bear. I'm sure you know all this already if you read Crystal's blog!
I am sleep deprived as you may well imagine but I am so much more peaceful and calm with this one. I keep waiting for the moment when I freak out from lack of sleep but so far it ain't happenin'. I am just blissfully floating along. Today I was making no bake cookies for my Mom's LATE mother's Day present and I was letting Claire add ingredients and stir, Lily was sleeping peacefully and I thought " This is the happiest I have ever been in my entire life, this is what I have always wanted." I started to cry and praise God right there in my kitchen. My heart just swelled up with love and gratitude for my Lord..
I have been lacking that a lot in my life. To be honest, I never really felt like the christian I needed to be. I often even questioned whether or not I was truly a christian because I didn't feel like one so many times. But, God has done some amazing work in my life. I am so grateful for the trials and struggles that have made me stronger and more in love with my husband and family than I ever could imagine.....
So many thoughts ran through my head today as I thought about my Savior. I began to thank God for our present situation with money. We are struggling to decide some things regarding finances. We DO NOT want to make stupid, ungodly decisions. I would have resented this before, I would have wanted the new house, the new car, the nice, new clothes, ALL the stuff that means nothing to God. Now, I truly do not care. I still like that stuff, I always will. That's part of me but I do not have to let it rule my life. I do not have to drive my husband crazy with nagging about "when are we ever going to have the money to do this?" I can finally let it go and let my husband make the decision and trust that God is behind it.
Anyway, I have a screaming little girl and a toddler who is always eager to help but may accidentally drop her so.... I have to go!
Will post more later.