I did something today which I have never really done before. I stopped and actually listened to someone who was cussing and saying terrible hateful words to someone on the phone. Why did I listen? I don't know but what I heard shocked me, not because of what he was saying but because of the pain I heard in his voice. He was talking to his mother and I could hear her screaming and cussing at him through the phone. He was cussing her back but he had such pain in his voice, he was crying.
Why did this bother me, you ask and why am I sharing it with you? I don't know. All I know is that for years I have truly not felt true compassion for people. Maybe that shocks you. GOOD! It should.
I have been wrapped up in my own pain, worrying about how to be self righteous and keep my hands clean. To stay away from all the riff-raff (an expression my father in law uses, I just like the word riff-raff) anyway, to stay away instead of getting involved, getting to know people whether they believe like me or fit into my nice little tidy box I like to put people in. I don't know that kid, but I know pain when I hear it.
Amanda at http://www.mamasings.blogspot.com/ has some thought provoking post in the last couple of days. I know a lot of you won't agree with her or the way she believes, that's okay, she doesn't expect you to. She just says what she thinks and feels. No one in this world agrees 100% on everything, if we think so,then we need to get real.
Some will think that I am even wrong for reading her stuff. All I can say is that I have learned from her and I don't believe any of it has been bad. Yes, for the church of christ people reading this, we do things a lot differently than they do but that doesn't mean we can't learn things from others. The point is, I am through serving myself, I am sure that I will slip up but I want to focus on how I can be a help to someone other than myself. I still think that it is important to be involved in your church, to be the best wife, mother and friend you can be. But, we need to expand our horizions a little bit and try to reach out of our comfort zone. You would be suprised at how you may bless someone's life. The guy I heard today, I said to him, "It sounds like you are having a bad day, I am sorry." He looked at me and said, " Thank you for asking me about my day. It has been really rough." Well, maybe that's all I said, and maybe I should have shared Christ right there but I didn't. I just let him know that someone cared and I go in the store often where he works, so maybe I can help him. I know, you think I have flipped out, but I really feel a burden for people lately. I feel like I need to help carry some burdens besides my own for awhile. Because , what I am really here for, in the end, what difference have I made? I guess maybe I am rambling but it is late. I will post more on this when my thoughts are clearer. I just know that maybe if people knew that we really cared about them and not about just making our churches bigger and being self righteous about everything maybe it would make all the difference in the world.
Anyway, I am off to try and get some sleep........
Edited: By the way, I am only talking about myself, I am not referring to anyone in particular, this is the way that I feel about myself and just a lot of Christians in general. Not really about anyone I know. Thanks for reading my ramblings.