My negative nature

First of all, I have a confession to make. I have a tendency to be negative! Shocking, isn't it?! =)

I struggle with this and believe that I have finally found quite a bit of freedom in this area. However, for most of my life, I have struggled with being negative. I truly believe that it came out of habit and the influence of some people in my life.

Do you know anyone who you really dread being around? Because of the attitude and the atmosphere they create with their negative and critical spirit? I do, it is someone very close to me, and it is very hard to overcome the negative atmosphere this person creates in my life. So much that I have often times seen myself becoming just like this person. And I that makes me really sad.=(

I think, that when we are so automatically negative, it is a result of our lack of FAITH. This person I know rarely if ever truly places their life in God's hands. They may say they do and even advise you to do so with your life but by their actions, attitude and negative spirit, you can tell that they haven't taken that step themselves.

So, the past few days I have really struggled to do away with a negative mindset and focus on positive thoughts. I have tried to be encouraging and loving and considerate. I have worked hard at being there for my husband and my children instead of dwelling in my own pit. And today, I feel like I have experienced a breakthrough at last!!! My sister gave me some insight in an email this morning and that combined with the words I read in Scripture at 4 am helped me to see this:

"Do all things without complaining and disputing" Philippians 2:14

If we complain, it shows that we don't have faith in God. It shows and proves that we don't believe that God is capable of handling our problems. That we don't believe that He is in charge. It also shows that we don't pray oftentimes because we don't trust God to answer or to answer like we want. It shows that we are not praying oftentimes for this very reason. This is so very difficult to admit in my own life and I do not want to be this way or fall back into this way of living any longer! Lord, help me to be different! Help me to be positive! Help me to trust in YOU!!!!!

This is just something I had to journal about today. Hope it helped someone. Just getting it down has helped me so much already. Thanks for reading and I would appreciate your prayers.

Love,
Julie