Claire bear is 4!!!

*I am just now getting to post this! monday, my computer was acting wild(still is & it's NEW!) ugh. yesterday, we had to take Lily for her blood sugar test and Claire & Drew for shots. Well, Claire also got a blood sugar test. So, it was an awful day and we just really need your prayers. We hopefully will get the results today. I will keep you posted.

5 years ago, I gave my infertility to the Lord. After 3 years of waiting every month and then crying and being so depressed when I wasn't pregnant (again) and the 4 years before that when I had so many babies go to be with Jesus. , after all 7 years of heartache, we just "happened" to catch this pregnancy on a fluke! I just happened to be having blood work done and that is how I know that Claire is from God. She was detected extremely early, we got the correct medicine and I carried her to term! All of our babies are miracles but she was the first! And, what a blessing she is!

Claire is the very best little girl a mom could ever ask for. She gives me trials but she loves me desperately and she has such a love for God. She talks about Jesus all of the time and we sing songs everywhere about Jesus. She sings loud and she doesn't care who hears her! She inspires me and I hope she never loses that zeal for Christ.

Claire is an excellent big sister, amazing. She is always ready to help me with the other two and she tells everyone that Lily is her best friend and Drew is her baby. :) I love the sweet way she calls them "Lil-wee" and "Drew-bee" She is always such a helpful little girl and she always wants to learn how to do whatever Mama is doing. She is an amazing little chef (really!) and already can tell you what flour, sugar and everything else are and when to put them in. She almost has the exact measurements of the ingredients down pat! She is wonderful in the kitchen and she's only 4!

We can count almost to 20 now and we know our colors and letters (most of them). We know our ABC's!!! She always wants to read and for Mama to read to her and I love that! I used to be so engrossed in reading. She definitely takes after her Mama there!

What I really love to watch her do is to get down her journal and her bible and sit in the chair and underline things in her Bible and write and draw pictures in her journal. No, she doesn't really know what she is doing but she knows she that reading the Bible and taking notes is important so she does that. I think it's wonderful and it's really neat especially after we have just read a bible story she will sit down and basically tell it back to herself almost word for word and I love how much that helps her! She plays like she is reading Bible right now but in a little while she will be really reading it and that is just amazing!!!

What I am most proud of with Claire is her loving heart. She always wants to help someone and she prays for everyone she knows. She hates for other kids to be left out. I love to see that sweet heart in her at such a young age. And when she's acting ugly, she says this adorable thing: I will say, "Where's my good girl?" and she says, "Right here in my heart, mama" Isn't that precious?

So, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL, PRECIOUS, KIND, SMART, LOVING, SWEET BIG GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU, (This much!!!!)

Mama

praying for these special families....

*edited: wrong link! It's early in the morning, sorry! The link for Kelly should work now! :)

Please pray for my friend, Rebecca. She is having some serious problems early in her pregnancy & is on bedrest. Please pray for the baby's health & for courage and strength for Rebecca and her family. I have been in this place and it is not an easy place to be. Please lift her up in your prayers!

Also, a blogger I read, Kelly's Korner, just had her little girl, Harper, last night. Harper is VERY sick. She has pneumonia because her lungs are filled with fluid. They are starting her on a heart/lung bypass machine today. This is VERY serious. Life threatening. Kelly & her husband prayed for this baby for years. Please pray for the family.

Have a wonderful weekend & remember to stay in prayer to the God of Miracles!!!

Love,
Julie

Our Struggle....

*updated on November 7th, 2008.

We now have 3 children!!! Praise God!!! We were blessed with a son, Andrew Coy David Fogg on September 4th-he was yet another surprise and an even greater blessing from the Lord!!! It is true, God does answer prayer and He does immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, According to HIS power that is at work within us!!!

I read a post today that brought back a lot of painful memories. I normally don't say much about our struggle to have children because it was so painful and it is still painful to reflect on it. But, it changed me. It made me a stronger, better, more compassionate person. Looking back now, I can see that. I could not see that then. I saw everything through the haze of pain. So, I am going to share a journal entry with you. I wrote this on August 13, 2002. We had already been trying for four years. We had lost several babies.

"My body is driving me crazy. I have no idea how to fix what is wrong with me or even all the money it takes to keep going. I am so tired of being sick all of the time and I am beginning to think that I will never hold our child. I am so tired of it all, Lord. Why can't we just be normal? I can't let go of the baby thing.I cry watching movies with Mom's and Dad's, I cry going to the grocery store and seeing all of the moms and babies. Moms and babies everywhere. Why is it so hard for me and Charlie? What do I have to do to make it happen? I wish I knew. Nothing is going to make it okay. The only thing that will make it okay will be to have a child. I know I should be grateful that I have my husband and I am but it's not the same. I don't know, I don't know! I just wish that you, God would take away this awful pain. It hurts SOOO bad......"

I now have two beautiful little girls after 7 years of infertility. I have two babies, but I will never forget the pain of not being pregnant and the horrible crushing grief over the babies that I couldn't have and the babies that I lost. I know it hurts, hurts so deep you can't even describe it. I went through a time when I was very angry and even suicidal at one point, I was just so depressed. The Lord carried me through. That's all I know. He answered me when I called for Him, time and time again. That's all I know and that's all I can tell you. There are no words that will fix it, nothing will. Just hold to God's unchanging hand and he will drag you through if he has to. He had to drag me a very long ways out of a very deep and dark pit.

I hope that this helped someone. Please remember to be kind when you are talking to someone who is struggling with this. We are very sensitive and words cut deep.

Hope you have a blessed day,

Love,

Julie

I don't have a title for this.....

*Updated to add: We now also have a beautiful son, Andrew Coy David Fogg, born September 4th, 2008!!!! No problems whatsoever with the pregnancy and a VERY precious blessing he is!!! :) GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!!

In case you haven't figured out by now, I love to bake and cook. The whole process just calms me down. When I am angry or sad or anxious I just bake. When I need to pray and work through something, I do it best when I am baking or cooking. The only problem I have is the anticipation of waiting until it is done! I don't know any cook who can wait to taste the food. Paula Deen has a saying about that and it's hilarious!

On January 3, 1998 I married my husband. We only dated 3 months before we were married. We dated a month and I got my engagement ring. I know, it sounds crazy and it has been hard but it is by far the best thing that I have ever done.Never a regret.

I had been through so much pain in past relationships. We were very young and people could not believe that we knew what we were doing. But, we knew what we wanted. I had been through hell and Charlie was heaven.

Well, we got married and I immediately got pregnant. I had a miscarriage. This cycle repeated itself for the next 4 years. I had so much pain inside and all I wanted to do was to be a mama. There was a lot of anger and questioning the Lord. I was angry at God and angry most of all at myself. Our marriage suffered terribly. That is how I know that we have true love, until you go through something so terrible, you don't realize how good you have it. My husband held up his vows, he was there in sickness and in pain, and literally in death, time and time again. Losing my children is the most terrible pain that I have ever known. But, all of this was in God's plan for our life together. Hanging on to the Lord is what got me through and knowing that he had a plan for my life.

We considered (seriously) adoption and we still do. We were on the verge of seriously looking into it when I became pregnant again(after 3 years of not even being able to conceive). Claire was detected extremely early by the grace of God. I should not have even been able to conceive her, my horomone levels were so low. I not only got pregnant, but carried her and delivered a healthy baby girl in Feb. 2005. After 7 years of struggling to have a baby, I had my beautiful baby girl.

We began talking about having another one shortly after Claire was born, although we were not even sure I could get pregnant again or carry another baby to term. However, we wanted to try but wait until Claire was about 2 years old before we started trying. God laughed at us and we became pregnant with Lily when Claire was 18 months old.

Lily's birth was a miracle in itself. I became diagnosed with gallbladder and pancreatitis/jaundice complications the weekend I found out that I was pregnant. I was put into the hospital immediately. I was in there for a week until the pancreatitis and jaundice cleared up. I had to wait until I was 4 months pregnant before they could do surgery(due to birth defects). That is the sickest I have ever been in my life and I had a 2 year old to take care of (no rest). We both came through the surgery just fine and Lily was born healthy and normal in May 2007.

So, as you can see I have a lot to praise God for. I have two beautiful baby girls. I am a mommy. I waited so long to be able to say those words and if you are waiting I know the pain. I know how empty and alone you feel. I know the discouragement. That is what Satan wants us to feel. But, the Lord is with you.. Let him give you strength. Lean on Him. Rest in Him. And I will be praying for you as I do every day for those who cannot or have not yet for some reason been able to have children. I cannot guarantee that you will have children, only God can do that. I do know that God has plans and reasons and they are not our own. I know that God will give you peace when and if you ever come to that point. I know what a struggle it is to come to that point and to let Him have your pain.

Maybe this helped someone today. I just felt like I needed to write it. Love you all.