I couldn't have said it better myself...so I won't....

I have been reading this blog a lot lately and I guess it just resonates with me because of the fact that we are having another child. Please read her beautifully written blog post "Could it be?"

I love the idea that our home is "holy ground"...beautiful.

I will try to be back more often. I miss blogging so much!!!

Love,
Jules

what my children need from me....

pg. 33 "The Ministry of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson

"What matters to them is my loving presence............ And that's what my children need from me. If I want them to be open to my messages, I need to be willing to serve them-to voluntarily give up my rights and my time to meet their felt needs-just as Jesus was willing to give for his disciples."

This gave me something to think about for awhile... actually, from now on, may I never forget these words. Something I really needed to hear today.

I'm under attack...

*edited to say: I know that people love me, that friends and family love me. Deep down I know that. This is just the battle that I fight every day with myself. Not anything that anyone has or hasn't done!

Charlie and I went to see Fireproof on Sunday night. It was, as I already said, in a word, AWESOME!!! It has been life changing for us! I am seeing things in my husband that I have prayed for and now they are coming true! Last night was a very huge moment for us. Charlie took me down on the floor with him on our knees and he prayed over us. :) I cannot stop crying today. Just tears of absolute joy everytime I think of my precious husband and how he is trying so hard to be the husband/father he is called to be, how his heart is so tender towards me now and most important, He is walking with Christ every step of the way! :)

We are going through some major things right now and I am not afraid. Charlie is standing up and taking control and I am SO proud of my husband! However, the problem is with me.

Satan is atttacking me; big time. I have a major self pity thing going on. I am not able to focus so well when I am in prayer. I just feel like I need to sleep and have no urge to take care of my family or my home. Sounds bad, huh? But, I have to admit it. I must get this out so that Satan has NO power over my mind. I have learned exactly what to do to make him go away! ;)

I am just in a major funk. I feel like no one cares about me and I have been trying to reach out to others but feel rejected. I hate that feeling and it makes me start questioning myself. It makes me feel horrible because I feel not worthy of friendship or of anything good in my life. I hate this about me, that I let my mind control me so many times.

My parenting has definitely suffered. I am very easily angered and struggling to stay calm and let the little things just go. Lily is a little screamer when she doesn't get her way and listening to this ALL. DAY. LONG. is driving me insane! Claire is going through a thing where she hates to wear pants (of any kind) , her seat belt, etc. and throws a screaming fit when she has too. Which, you know, is any time we go anywhere at all. Drew is doing pretty good but I can't give him the attention he needs because I have spent most of my day today defusing temper tantrums and wondering if I am losing my mind?!

And, I have surgery scheduled for Tuesday morning. I am always worried when I have surgery. And this is a very hard and sad day for me. Without going into our reasons or our decision, I will not be able to have more children. We know that this is the right decison but we are very sad. My life is my husband and my children. That's all I know and I love every second of it. I really believe that my conflicting feelings are the source of a lot of this mess I am going through this week. Please pray for us.

Anyway, I just felt like I had to get this said. I know that I have not been walking around with my "full armour of God" as my protection against Satan's attacks. I must stay in the word, that is why I am starting the memory verse. I must focus on what my family thinks of me and their needs from me as a wife and mother. I HAVE to get to that point where I no longer worry about what people (even family) think of me. I have to stop letting other people's opinions of me control me. I KNOW WHO I AM. I KNOW I AM WORTHY. I KNOW I AM CALLED TO BE CHARLIE'S WIFE AND CLAIRE, LILY & DREW'S MAMA. THE LORD IS MY HEAVENLY FATHER AND HE LOVES ME.

and that's all I need to know.

Julie

Memo to Mommy...

I found this in my "parenting" binder. I am not sure of the source, I think it may be Parents magazine. Anyway, I wanted to share this with you. I had a rough day last week and reading this made the tears fall and changed my whole outlook in that instant. It's a good reminder of the way our babies see us.

*Stop freaking out about the mess! There's always time to clean-but how often do we get to make mud pies?

*Love me, even when I am naughty. I'll only be this age once.

*Be patient. I do everything for a reason but I don't know enough words yet to give you an explanation.

*Let me do it. I know you can do it faster and better, but sometimes experience is the best teacher.

*Don't expect too much of me. I want to do what you ask and make you happy, but I'm still little.

*Keep your promises. It's all about trust. When I am a teenager, you'll understand why it's so important.

*Don't try to reason with me when I am having a tantrum. Trust me-I can't hear you over my own screaming.

*Don't keep asking me if I've been good. I'm not even sure what that means, but if I was bad I'd never admit it!

*Don't let me think that you're perfect. I feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes.

*Set limits. I can't actually eat a whole box of cookies-I just want to see if I'd get away with it! :)

Parenting Posts

My sister has some really good posts and comments on parenting over at her blog. Kelli & Robin have left some great comments! Interesting and very helpful. Just wanted to bring these to your attention, they sure helped me today! =)

Love,
Julie

To motivate our children to please God

"When we appeal to our children’s hearts for excellence and choices of good behavior, then we are giving them the will and desire to be excellent all for themselves. Their desire comes from within and their motivation is from their heart. But if we train them behaviorally by always forcing them to do what we want them to do because they might get a spanking, or another kind of threatened discipline, then their motivation is to avoid spanking or harshness but not to please God or to please their parents, by having a good heart and responding in obedience." Sally Clarkson (click on Sally's name to read the rest of what she has to say).

I really needed to read this today. Claire has been having some severe temper tantrums and I think today Mama was on the verge of a major meltdown! I love Sally Clarkson's blog and I want to buy every one of her books! She is so encouraging to mothers. I really do recommend that you make a detour by her blog and read this post. It will bless you in your role as Mom. Have a great weekend!

Love and Prayers,
Julie